This was the issue that women posted in a blog post published earlier this year in a country that is deeply religious.
"A long story is short, I look forward to racing this year excitingly and recovering the orgasm's sexual experiences."
This is the kind of answer that would surely ask Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, a Ghanaian writer, who wrote a blog about the bedroom of African women with her friend, Malaka Grant 10 years ago.
Sekyiamah's interest in the interest in sex is less about enthusiasm (although it is not difficult to blur some of the site's messages) and more about health, empowerment and community.
In the area of Ghana's coastal capital, East Legon, the spacious bungalow of Sekyiamah is situated between much larger properties. Surrounded by family photos, art and literature, she is the communication director of the Women's Rights Development Association, an organization that supports feminist movements around the world.
Sitting on the freshly prepared smoothies, Sekyiamah, who was in the early 40s, explains that she was safe to talk about sex and sexuality with other women until she was 30 years old.
Five years ago, five other women – where the conversation came back to sex – made Sekyiamahot a decade ago to create adventures as it refers to the blog. Its purpose is clear to "provide a safe place where African women can openly discuss different sexual and sexual issues".
The best comments include: the anthology of erotic erotic writing; a blog that scans nude safely (spoiler: there is no fool method to avoid using the image intentionally); and the 2011 evergreen post that shows how mysterious female joy looks: "How can you tell when a woman is an orgasm?"
Sex is not hidden in Accra. It's everywhere. But this mostly corresponds to men's desires and uncertainties.
The radio ads and the plastered signs on the electric poles and concrete walls offer men with solutions to cure "sexual weakness".
In an ad, the person depicted is taking herbal medicine, returning to top performance, and when his wife asks what he wants to dine, he answers sharply, "Of course!"
However, some of the country's languages and traditions show older, more generous understanding of sex and sexuality. For example, the word "supi" refers to two girls who are close friends who may be sexual. While he comes from the largest ethnic group in Ghana, Akan, divorce is warranted if he does not have sex.
Many programs are run by government and international charities focusing on sexual and reproductive health, but Sekyiamah says these programs generally ignore joy.
"Within the international development discourse, mentioning the sexual and reproductive health of African women, they are talking about vectors of disease, or the conversation is about controlling the fertility of African women," he says.
“This discourse leaves so much that African women control their own bodies. Joy is related to well-being, and so comprehensive sexual education is essential for the full development of women. What can you control?
Kobby Ankomah-Graham has been a member of the Adventures community since the launch of the blog and spoke on discussion panels alongside Sekyiamah focusing on the role of men and boys.
She was born to Ghanaian parents and grew up in the United Kingdom but settled in Ghana, Ankomah-Graham is an American higher education institution, Webster University at Accra campus. He also wrote about the extent to which gender roles change and how well the Ghanaian youth are preparing for a new, more equal reality.
"If you get privilege and the privilege is lost, you expect this oppression," he says.
"The boys are having a hard time thinking about gender equality. The divorce rate in Ghana is rising, and one of the reasons is the indifference of people."
Ankomah-Graham relies on his own personal experience as a role model or at least one conversation initiator.
"I have a father who had an interesting life for women: 12 children, eight women and four wives. But I'm a child of a female activist (campaigner against female genital mutilation, Efua Dorkenoo OBE)," he says.
"I definitely identify as a feminist so boys can see it as best as possible. I will try to explain to them that there is such a long way to think about the fact that women will compete in the work They have to be ready for their father not to be .
Maame Akua Kyerewaa Marfo is the woman Ankomah-Graham prepares for her students to meet.
"I look like this feminist loud mouth, but I have the most boring sexual life," she says, laughing. "I am a virgin."
"Not for religious reasons," Marfo added quickly.
The low-self-esteemed singer, who is also an organizer of the Accra Young Feminist Collective, explains that open conversations about sex and sexuality have helped to make love while traveling, and now fears having an intimate place.
"I've always been this black, plus-sized, dark-skinned girl, I said" you can be so beautiful "because I was 13 or 14. The suicide you put into the body is astronomical," she says.
"For me, sex positivity was thinking of how I could take this body back to everyone and do something I understand as desirable. I spent a lot of time at home in my body and I feel good to invite other people to the home, but I don't want to leave my politics on the door.
Considering that Sekyiamah said that 10 years ago there were no online or offline forums on sexual and sexuality, the Young Feminist Collective, which meets every month, proves how much has changed since the adventures.
Marfo sees the collective as a space for young women, regardless of their sexual orientation, to understand that they belong to themselves.
"Their bodies are theirs, their sexual pleasure is theirs, and they can share it with someone they think they should share with them," he says.
It is hard to wonder that women like Sekyiamah and Marfo have to be as costly and vocal as the sexual experience of women in a religious country and where homosexuality is a crime. Marfo says he "unloads all the time" on Twitter and recognizes that he is learning online battles.
"Christian fundamentalism is growing," says Sekyiamah, and there are dangers to physical security. The Ghanaian women have to collect themselves and quietly and hope that no one will tell the wrong person. "
There is evidence to support Sekyiamah's comments and the tendency for caution and confidentiality among queer women. When Human Rights Watch's report was released in January 2018, researcher Wendy Isaack said: "Homophobic statements by local and national government officials, traditional elders, and leading religious leaders encourage discrimination and in some cases encourage violence."
But in the decade since the advent of adventure, the success of groups such as Drama Queens, a theater company whose performances include, inter alia, rape, consent and same-sex relationships, says Sekyiamah, that change is happening.
The work of influencing myths and culture, a blog post at a time, is slow, but Sekyiamah would not be otherwise. He tells a story of a young woman who came to her at a Nigerian literary festival saying that adventures are as much a place to learn about sex as "her mother, sister, aunt. "
"This is the kind of effect I care about," says Sekyiamah gleefully. "I was always afraid that people were thinking about adventure to the place of titillation, and that wasn't my intention. Of course, reading about sex and sexuality is natural, and they naturally write sexy stories, but for me this is not the point. that women should know that they have the right to sexual enjoyment. "
At least Laquo seems to have received the message.